Hello again, 90s aficionados. This week for #90sMC we head to 1998 with Rebecca Aulburn and a very special friend of hers, so put on your cardigan, grab your bowling ball and pour yourself a White Russian as we go in search of a new rug…
And The Big Lebowski.
Now, before I go into this story, I’d like you to do something for me. You look like the sort of person who needs to understand a story, and I’ve just the way to let you uncover it.
Take a second to make yourself comfortable, and then think. When you last cleaned the kitchen, was there a proper tumbler hiding in there? Right at the back of the cupboard just in case someone special was coming around? I’m sure there was. You look like the sort of person who’d do that. Keep something special around for someone special. Well today pilgrim, you are that person. Grab that glass out and we’ll get you a drink.
I want you to be honest with me. Have you ever walked into those big old shops and thought “Why do they have big bags of ice in their freezers?” I bet you have, and I’m gonna tell you why. That’s pure ice. None of your tap water stuff that tastes of coin licks and salt. Proper ice for a proper person, so do me a favour. Grab your coat from behind the door, and mosey down your shop. Pick up a bag of ice. I’ll be waiting here for you to get back.
Back? Get that their bag in the icebox after you’ve got a good chunk out for your glass. No, don’t put it in yet, give it a tap. Real sharp tap like it’s said a rude word in front of your mother. Ain’t no-one too old for a sharp tap. Let those pure ice shards fall in the glass and let it get as cold as a night in the desert.
While you’re at the cold, bring out some half and half. No, I don’t mean that semi-whipped stuff with the foil top. I mean a good old mix of milk and cream. Don’t matter if you don’t like the dairy, I respect cows myself. Just grab some creamy oatmilk or whatever you got in there. Something special for a special person.
We’re gonna be needing two spirits now, but it don’t matter if you’ve only got the one. Get your vodka out. Not that half-assed stuff you keep taking to parties, but the pure stuff with the Russian letters on. That’s the one. Now, if you have any coffee spirit, that’s dandy. If not, mix up a bit of that vodka with some dry coffee and vanilla – be about the same.
Now, Pilgrim, you gotta be careful here. I want you to wash your hands like you off to some fancy lady. Give them a good old scrub, because you want to be at your best for this drink. No slacking.
So, in this here glass, I want you to put a splash of your coffee spirit, two splashes of vodka and a splash of your half and half into that their glass of yours. Take your cleanest finger and stir it gently, like you’re looping the hair of a loved one.
Now, sit, drink, and abide.
I just took you on a journey like the Dude. He got mistaken for some big guy, lost his rug and got his friends to get it back. The wife was horny, Jesus bowled, Donny died fighting the Nihilists, but people die. There ain’t no big moral journey and there ain’t no big story. Just a Dude and his drink. Like yourself, Pilgrim. Cheers.
Next week: What’s this? What’s this? I’ll tell you what… We enter the final stretch of our Great Year Long 90s Movie Challenge as Cameron McCulloch-keeble gets all festive and spooky as he takes a look at 1993’s Halloween and/or Christmas animated adventure The Nightmare Before Christmas!